I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
