More tranny stories later!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
