Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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