The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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