3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
