so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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