Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
