She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
