I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
