Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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