I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
