O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this boner is exhausting
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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