This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
