I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
tell me about the eggs
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
