Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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