this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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