What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
