help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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