Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
