I accidentally burped into my bong.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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