I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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