Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
