WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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