I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
