glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
