whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
