Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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