he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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