so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She even gives head with a lisp.
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Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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