I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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