ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This is the high leading the old right now
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
