We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
