break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
