so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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