Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
