Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
