Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize