Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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