he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
