In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
