WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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