the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
