hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
