Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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