she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
