We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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