how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
