I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
