Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize