I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
