why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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