guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
