It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
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I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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