I feel like abortions should bother me more
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
