it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
