I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
