I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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