have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
