I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
