I forgot how hot balto sounded
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So squirting runs in the family.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
