I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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