All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
