Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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