What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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