Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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