her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
