right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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