did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
